Cell Phone Etiquette

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."
-- Western Union internal memo, 1876


This morning at breakfast I noticed something that is all too commonplace. At the table to the right sat two friends, one was talking on his cell phone; at the table on my left, a mother and son; the mother was deep into a cell phone conversation. While cell phones are often lauded for keeping us in touch with family and friends, cell phones are also becoming responsible for distancing us from those who are physically in our presence.

The behavior has a rudeness about it when observed, especially when the conversation becomes loud when reception began to fail. (Note: When a call begins to break up, talking louder doesn’t help.) The gentleman at the table to my right not only raised his voice as the signal faded but got left his friend at the table while he wandered around the restaurant trying to improve his reception. The mother on my left continued to talk as her son was forced to delay placing his order. Why is it that the person on the cell phone trumps the one present?

An article in today’s New York Times addressed this cultural trend, "I Want to Be Alone. Please Call Me." (a free registration may be necessary to see article) It relates the story of a woman who refused to turn off her cell phone on a plane as required before take-off. She became physically defensive and was ultimately removed by force. She claimed it would have been rude to hang up on her caller.

The Times article refers to a theory called “actor-observer paradox.” We can see the rude behavior when others do it, but not when we behave rudely with our own cell phone. I’m sure I am as guilty as any of the other 280 million cell phone users in the US. James Gleick, the author of several books on technology, offers some excuse in the article. "We should recognize that we're on a technological roller coaster and things are changing fast and there are levels of rudeness that we are just discovering." He believes that our good manners will follow as we catch up with technology. He says, “It takes time for a culture to adapt.”

Another article in today’s Times dealt with another gray area in the ethics of cell phone use, "For Liars and Loafers, Cellphones Offer an Alibi." Because we are so well-connected, technologies are rising up to resist it. Cell phones are being developed with built-in sounds to simulate background noises of other environments, allowing the user to disguise his true location to a caller.

Another phenomenon the article describes is a cell phone based “alibi club” where members can be contacted to make excuses by cell phones to bosses, spouses, blind dates, etc. The group’s founder got the idea on a trip to Europe. That group has since disbanded because of some of the ethical issues involved.

Post Script (june 29, 2004)
Today's New York Times ran On the Road: Want to Be Unpopular? Start With a Cellphone, primarily experiences and opinions submitted since last week's articles on the cellphone. Thought you might want to check it out.

Do you have cell phone stories to share? Then put away that cellphone and tell us about it. Post a comment here.